The Mandatory 2019 Hall of Shame: 20 of This Year’s Biggest Fails
It may seem like all of the news-worthy events this year took place in politics, but that’s a fallacy. There were plenty of awful people nowhere near the White House doing deplorable things across the country over the past 12 months (though most of them seem to live in Florida). Every year, we at Mandatory select the worst of the worst of weird new stories and present them to you in our Hall of Shame. Read up, have a laugh, and thank the heavens that you aren’t anywhere near as depraved as these people are. (Or are you?)
Cover Photo: PeopleImages (Getty Images)
Weird News: Woman Bumps Into Supposedly Dead Ex-Boyfriend, Who Doubles Down By Calling in Dead to Work
Harvey Weinstein to Undergo Back Surgery, Everyone Hoping For Swift Recovery So He Can Continue to Burn in Hell in Front of Us
Alleged sexual predator Harvey Weinstein showed up at a bail hearing with a walker and whined to the New York Post that he's a "forgotten man," garnering exactly zero sympathy from us. Read the story here.
Photo: Jeenah Moon (Getty Images)
Bill Cosby Teaches Prison Inmates About Being Role Models and Irony
For some reason, "America's Dad" (and convicted rapist) thinks he's qualified to play role model to his fellow prisoners in the clink. Read the story here.
Photo: William Thomas Cain (Getty Images)
Uber Driver Caught Jerking (Off Behind) the Wheel, Predictably Pulls Sex Toy On Cops
When a Connecticut Uber driver was caught jerking off, he pulled a sex toy on police. 'Cause that makes sense. Read the story here.
Photo: RapidEye (Getty Images)
Meanwhile in Florida: Woman All But Defecates in Local Ice Cream Shop
Don't get in between a woman and her dessert or you might find yourself on the receiving end of something that definitely is not soft-serve. Read the story here.
Photo: Aaron Amat (Getty Images)
Watch Families Fight at Disneyland and Scar Their Kids for Rest of Their Lives
The most magical place on Earth turned into the most violent as sparring families threw punches in front of their children. Read the story here.
Photo: RuslanDashinsky (Getty Images)
‘Dick Fish’ Wash Ashore by the Thousands in California, Our Worst Nightmare Has Finally Manifested
Slimy dick-like creatures washed up on the shores of a California beach, making everyone on the internet squirm. Read the story here.
Photo: Kate Montana, iNaturalist
Pooping in Public Pools Trend Goes Viral (And Bacterial)
A new fecal-focused "challenge" forced a Spanish water park to close after swimmers started crapping in the water. Read the story here.
Photo: Koldunova_Anna (Getty Images)
Batter Up: Youth Baseball Brawl Between Parents Includes Bat-Wielding Pregnant Woman
And you thought helicopter parents were bad. These 'rents went postal at their kids' baseball game, unborn baby be damned. Read the story here.
Photo: Rob Mattingly (Getty Images)
Meanwhile in Florida: Man Throws Feces At Judge, Jury Somehow Finds Him Not Guilty
The shit really hit the fan when a Florida man threw feces at the judge presiding over his burglary hearing. Read the story here.
Photo: RichLegg (Getty Images)
Look, No Hands! Chinese Dick Pump Is the Sex Machine of Our Dreams
Yes, we've reached the point where men are too lazy to even jerk themselves off. Thanks to Chinese innovation, they don't have to. Read the story here.
Photo: RapidEye (Getty Images)
Extra Toppings: Pizza Place Puts Laxatives on Pies
You've had shitty pizza before, but nothing like this. Read the story here.
Photo: OcusFocus (Getty Images)
Immaculate! Catholic Church Investigates Two Nuns Who Went to Africa, Came Back Ungodly Pregnant
Something unholy is underway in the Catholic Church and these nuns have the belly bumps to prove it. Read the story here.
Photo: Alex Tihonovs/EyeEm (Getty Images)
Puke Factor 10: Male Nurse’s Sexual Assault Discovered When Coma Patient Gives Birth
No, a woman in a coma can't consent to sex with her male nurse. And she certainly didn't ask to be this predator's baby mama. Read the story here.
Photo: Teerapon Tiuekhom/EyeEm (Getty Images)
Cowadunga: Bitter Cow Shoots Its Vengeful Poop at Its Owner
When one cow got pissed, it pooped. All over its owner. Read the story here.
Photo: Monty Rakusen (Getty Images)
Defeated Man Chooses Dead Pigeon as Street-Fighting Weapon Outside McDonald’s (and We’re Lovin’ It)
Desperate times call for desperate measures, which is why this wise guy used a dead pigeon as a weapon. Read the story here.
No, A Dead Body Doesn’t Count As a Passenger For the Carpool Lane
A hearse driver made the argument that a dead body totally qualifies him for the carpool lane. We don't entirely disagree. Read the story here.
Photo: Matthew1983 (Getty Images)
There’s a Museum Dedicated to Poop and It Promises a Crappy Time
Poop enthusiasts can head to Japan to experience the new museum dedicated to defecation. Read the story here.
Photo: ivan101 (Getty Images)
Police Chief Shocked to Find ‘Pig’ Written on His Starbucks Cup, His Daughter Not Shocked in the Least
Whether or not a Starbucks employee called a police chief a pig is up for debate, but his daughter didn't mince words about his conduct on social media. Read the story here.
Photo: @amyslanchik (Twitter)
Stinky Drinks: This Gin Has a Smelliest of Ingredients (Elephant Poop)
Botanical-based spirits are all the rage, but this one has a rather crappy ingredient in it. Talk about the elephant in the room! Read the story here.
Photo: GoodLifeStudio (Getty Images)
People Are Wearing AirPods During Sex Because We Don’t Even Know
If there's one time you're supposed to tune out, it's while getting down and dirty. But some assholes just can't seem to part from their idiotic AirPods. Read the story here.
Photo: PeopleImages (Getty Images)