Look, No Hands! Chinese Dick Pump Is the Sex Machine of Our Dreams

So many of the products we use on a daily basis come from China. From the clothes on your back to the chair you’re sitting on, China has a lock on your wallet. Now it appears they made a dick pump to put a lock on your junk. A Chinese company named Jiangsu Medical Science and Technology Company Ltd. produced a sperm extractor and it’s being used in hospitals for men who can’t or won’t jerk off the natural way. The machine simulates a human vagina and can be set at various height and speed levels for maximum efficiency and, um, stimulation. The Chinese government worries there will be a semen shortage in the country, and this machine is crucial to improve on their already billion-plus population. We don’t know if these things are making their way to a clinic near you, but fear not, because sex robots are already a reality if you need to fuck a machine.

Photo: RapidEye (Getty Images)

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