Meanwhile in Florida: Naked Man Wanted For Vandalizing School in Nothing But Headphones, Suspect Armed With Costly Break Dance

You know that guy that graduated a few years ago but still kind of hangs out at all of the high school parties or football games and nobody has the heart to tell him that he “doesn’t even go here”? Well, that guy got super drunk one day and decided to break into Miramar High School, located in Miramar, Florida. He then decided to vandalize the high school. Also, he was naked.

The Miramar Police Department recently posted a tweet calling for the arrest of a man who, while naked, vandalized the school and caused damages upwards of $100,000. Surveillance footage showed the man, later identified as 21-year-old Matthew Crandall, spending an entire day destroying the high school. He spent 24 hours pretending he was a member of the Breakfast Club, entering the school at 8 a.m. on a Monday, and still going at it by 6 a.m. the following Tuesday. Nobody can question his dedication, but we do have some other questions, such as:

How did he get into the school?

Why wasn’t there any security?

24 hours? Really?

Did he have a vendetta against the school or was he just bored?

Did he, in fact, go to the high school?

And finally…

Why was he fucking naked?

Those questions may one day come to light, as police eventually did identify and apprehend Crandall, charging him with criminal mischief and two counts of burglary. We’re not sure if this was just a case of cabin fever or, judging by the headphones he was wearing, if he was just deep in the midst of a music video of his mind. Regardless, this was one expensive dance break for the guy.

Cover Photo: WSVN

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