toilet paper

Meanwhile in Florida: Man Hangs Massive Toilet Paper Roll in Tree to Mock America’s New Obsession

Hoarding toilet paper is America’s new national pastime. As we flock to stores to stock up on Charmin (and find the shelves empty), our minds are constantly scheming about how — and where — to procure enough TP to last us through the coronavirus pandemic. One Florida man recently decided to mock our collective obsession by hanging a massive replica of a roll of two-ply in a tree in his front yard. His name is Donald Ryan and he’s the owner of Who Wood Wonder, an arts and crafts business.

“I had the pulleys in the trees all along because I do Christmas decorations up there and Halloween and Easter and all kinds of things, so I put it to use,” Ryan told WFLA News. In addition to a visual gag, the giant toilet paper roll also doubles as advertising for his company. But ultimately, the point of the project was to make people laugh. “You’re gonna laugh, or you’re gonna drive yourself crazy,” he said. Lately, we feel like we’re doing both, simultaneously. But don’t laugh so hard you shit yourself, because we have to conserve that TP like the precious limited resource it is.

Cover Photo: WFLA News (Twitter)

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