Meanwhile in Florida: Clearwater Drunk Gets DUI, Shaves Mustaches Before Getting Another DUI the Same Week

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. This is a universal truth that expands beyond conscience, reason, and even facial hair. Unfortunately, nobody has told Henry Francis Davis of Clearwater, Florida, this. He continues to do the same insane thing over and over again, only stopping to shave his pedo-stache.

Police report that Davis was recently arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. Davis was reportedly arguing with another driver, after smashing into several other cars. Davis blew a 0.156, nearly twice the legal limit. He was arrested, booked, arraigned, and subsequently posted bail a short time later.

The next day, Davis was a free man. He decided to celebrate by drinking. And driving. Again. This time, however, he had a plan. Davis was a master of disguise, so if he was going to fight the law again, he knew he needed to change his appearance. Presumably, after seeing his mugshot from the night before, Davis decided to take drastic measures. He shaved his mustache.

Unfortunately, aesthetic changes mean very little in the eyes of the law. Davis was once again arrested, this time blowing a 0.154. Allegedly, he told officers, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be driving,” before almost falling over whilst trying to exit his vehicle. Despite being a master of disguise, Davis was charged with a second DUI. In other words, he fought the law. And the law won.

The saddest part of this whole situation is that Davis is actually kind of a dreamboat. If he gets his life together (and stays far, far away from any sort of facial hair), he may have a career in male modeling. He just needs to work on being a model human being first.

Cover Photo: Pinellas County Sheriff’s Department

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