Jeff Bezos’ Mid-Life Crisis Looks Amazing In the Form of New $500 Million Superyacht

Most middle-aged guys staring down the barrel of retirement go out and buy themselves a sports car. Or get their chests waxed and start golfing. Or divorce their wife of 27 years to dip their toes in the dating pool.

But for the man who made $75 billion in 2020 alone, somehow a 417-foot superyacht that’s so big it needs its own support yacht feels more appropriate. Ahoy mateys, looks like Captain Bezos is finally sailing down the Amazon in style.

So why does this feel like only phase one of Bezos’ mid-life crisis? A toy that he’ll use for a year then toss into the billionaire’s sandbox when he’s ready to move on to a newer, shinier plaything? As previously discussed, Bezos could buy 400 of these superyachts and still have enough money to retire on. The only snag is, there aren’t enough dry docks in the world to keep up with the demand of the uber wealthy’s yacht needs.

It’s true, demand for luxury yachts has reached an all-time high, with so many orders coming in there aren’t enough shipyards to accommodate. As wages continue to stagnate, unemployment remains high, inflation jumps over 4 percent, and the pandemic has cruelly canceled galas and regattas across the country, rich people need a giant boat they can float away on to escape the troubles the rest of us are facing on a daily basis. After all, while most of us knuckled down in 2020 to make ends meet, they increased their wealth by $1.8 trillion.

But on the bright side, with so many superyachts weighing anchor, there’s always the possibility of getting hired on as a crew member. Just think of the money you’d make putting out engine room fires and folding Bezos’s exquisite collection of sailing shorts. After four or five years, you could even buy a house in the suburbs of Cleveland.

Cover Photo: PAWAN SHARMA (Getty Images)

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