Ted Cruz Allegedly Used Campaign Money to Buy $153K Worth of His Own Book (Still Didn’t Read It)

There’s a strange dichotomy at play in Ted Cruz’s special brand of politics. For starters, while everyone has read his NSFW tweets, it appears no human being has ever read his books.

This 100 percent makes sense considering that his face is on the cover. (We digress.) Yet despite the lack of interest in the Texas Playboy’s hardcovers, the man has moved a considerable amount of units. His recent right-wing elegy One Vote Away: How a Single Supreme Court Seat Can Change History snagged the top spot on Amazon’s bestseller list when it came out last September.

Which is pretty darn impressive. Until you realize Cruz used his own campaign money to buy the junk bond in bulk. And when we say bulk, we mean Kanye-West-in-the-morning bulk.

Turns out Cruz bought a generous 10,000 copies of his own “bestseller” totaling $153,000 in campaign contributions. (We know what the kids are getting for Christmas.) So aside from being really good with other people’s money, the man has no shame. And if Cruz Control hasn’t learned by now, he probably never will.

Because you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. And we’re not kidding. The saggy-faced beagle pulled the same exact scam back in 2016 when he was running for president of America. Unironically, that masterpiece was entitled A Time For Truth.

Since most of us have blacked out the past five or so years, here’s a little memory jogger.

At that most truthful of times, the liberal rag The New York Times refused to include Cruz’s book on their infamous bestseller list, saying they’d found evidence of suspicious bulk purchases. Of course, Cruz, along with his publisher, refuted this claim, inciting a political battle that pitted Amazon against The Times and helped Cruz’s book sales swell.

Yet after the political dust settled and Cruz’s trip to the White House got derailed by a maniacal, cheese-frosted New York schmuck, it came out that Cruz actually had purchased $122,000 worth of his own book, totaling, you guessed it, 10,000 copies.

All this to say, for a man who repeats himself over and over, you’ll know just where to find Senator Cruz next time Texas freezes over. Oh, and when the entire Lone Star state gets mad at him for fleeing another disaster, you’ll know exactly who he’s going to blame for it too.

Cover Photo: Sarah Silbiger (Getty Images)

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