Ted Cruz
WASHINGTON, DC - MARCH 04: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) speaks at a press conference on school reopening during Covid-19 at US Capitol on March 04, 2021 in Washington, DC. The House of Representatives canceled plans to vote today as a precaution after talk surfaced online of possible protest or violent unrest in Washington. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)

Ted Cruz Fundraises by Signing Copies of Dr. Seuss’ ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ (But We Do Not Like That Ham)

Ted Cruz has failed at a lot of things – a presidential run, taking care of his constituents during Winter Storm Uri, and being a decent human being, just to name a few – but most relevant to this article is his failure as an author. See, the Texan senator published A Time For Truth in 2015. It’s currently ranked around 603,518 on Amazon’s bestselling books list.

So it makes sense that as a recent fundraising ploy, he offered supporters not signed copies of his own book but Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss, which ranks at No. 18, despite having been originally published over 60 years ago.

We’re unsure what point Cruz was trying to make by signing books by a children’s author who’s recently been blacklisted because some of his tomes have racist illustrations. (Ironically, after Dr. Seuss Enterprises’ decided to stop publishing those books, several of his other titles skyrocketed to the top of the bestseller lists.)

“Right now, the far left is trying to ‘CANCEL’ Dr. Seuss,” Cruz wrote in a Facebook post with atrocious punctuation. “As someone who has always been a big fan of Green Eggs and Ham, I won’t let that stand. So please rush an urgent Contribution of $60 and I’ll sign a copy of Green, Eggs, and Ham just for you!”

Call us crazy, but this kind of sounds like a dog-whistle to fellow racists. Or just a desperate act of a politician on the verge of becoming hopelessly irrelevant. And yet, his office claims the response “has been HUGE.” (Hmm…what newly unemployed Republican does that sound like?)

Green Eggs and Ham is a favorite book for the senator (because, we suspect, it’s one of the few at his reading level). He once read it aloud while filibustering against the American Care Act during Obama’s administration. (Who’s the ham now, Ted?)

We can’t decide what’s more offensive: that Cruz is propping up an author who has been cast in a new (unflattering) light or that he claims to be a reader at all.

Cover Photo: Tasos Katopodis / Stringer (Getty Images)

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