US President Donald Trump gestures as he delivers a press conference in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, DC, on July 14, 2020. (Photo by JIM WATSON / AFP) (Photo by JIM WATSON/AFP via Getty Images)

Trump Releases Ridiculous List of ‘Heroes’ to Be Included in Statue Garden

Just when you think Donald Trump can’t get any more out of touch with America, he opens his mouth again. The latest (and hopefully the last?) face-slapping gaffe was in regards to the “National Garden of American Heroes,” for which the soon-to-be-former president submitted a list of 244 people he wants to be honored as statues in said garden.

Before we get to the ridiculous names proposed, let us refresh our memories on what a hero actually is. The dictionary defines it as “a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.” Keep that in mind as we unpack the Americans that Trump thinks deserve to be memorialized in stone for all eternity.

They include (in alphabetical order): Louis Armstrong, Neil Armstrong, Crispus Attucks, Clara Barton, Ingrid Bergman, Irving Berlin, Kobe Bryant, Andrew Carnegie, Julia Child, Nat King Cole, Christopher Columbus, Walt Disney, Aretha Franklin, Theodor Geisel aka “Dr. Seuss”, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Barry Goldwater, Woody Guthrie, Alfred Hitchcock, Whitney Houston, Andrew Jackson, Daniel Inouye, Amelia Earhart, Elvis Presley, Ronald Reagan, Paul Revere, Jackie Robinson, Nikola Tesla, Harriet Tubman and Alex Trebek.

These names were released Monday in an executive order, an outgrowth of an earlier executive order back in July, when Trump came up with the garden idea as a response to social justice protests (because that makes sense). Basically, a bunch of Confederate statues got toppled or removed and Trump wanted to have them replaced…with likenesses of entertainers, athletes, and a children’s book author? We love Green Eggs and Ham as much as the next guy, but we can’t follow Trump’s train of thought on this at all.

The good news is the garden hasn’t even been built, Congress has allocated exactly $0 to it, and President-elect Joe Biden has not indicated an interest in pursuing the project. So…thanks for wasting everyone’s time? Thankfully, that presidential tradition ends tomorrow. Let’s hope the only statue Trump ever gets is a wax one in Ripley’s “Believe It or Not!”

Cover Photo: JIM WATSON / Contributor (Getty Images)

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