We hope Trump is happy. All his bullshit and bluster has mobilized the far right, sending ranting, raving racists to the Capitol, which is now on lockdown. House lawmakers have been evacuated due to red-faced white people who stormed the building and began banging on the doors. Staff were told to hide out in their offices and lock their doors and windows.
“Due to an external security threat located on the West Front of the U.S. Capitol Building, no entry or exit is permitted at this time,” the police said in a statement. “You may move throughout the building(s) but stay away from exterior windows and doors. If you are outside, seek cover.”
This is what happens when you mess with the old white guard. The uprising comes on the heels of an unprecedented victory in Georgia’s Senate runoff elections. Democrat Raphael Warnock beat Republican Sen. Kelly Loeffler by over 50,000 votes, hitting two milestones in the process: he became the first Black senator from the South and the first Black senator from the state of Georgia.
Meanwhile, also in Georgia, Democrat Jon Ossoff has declared victory over Republican David Perdue. Ossff leads Perdue by 16,000 votes, though the race has yet to be called. If he is declared the winner, he will be the first Jewish person from the South to serve in the Senate since the 1880s.
These two wins split the Senate right down the middle along party lines, but because vice-president-elect Kamala Harris will have tie-breaking powers, they essentially give Democrats control over the Senate again, rendering the wrinkly turtle otherwise known as Mitch McConnell impotent (in every sense of the word).
In other words: it’s a nightmare scenario for out-of-touch, entitled, neo-Nazi types who pride themselves on white legacy and are all in on the QAnon conspiracy. This “basket of deplorables,” who apparently hate things Democrats champion, like affordable healthcare for all and $2K stimulus checks, are pissed, hence the man-baby tantrum hour.
We wish we had better jokes, but this situation is serious, and still developing. Let’s check in with the people watching from home from Twitter.
More disturbing images from inside Capitol Hill pic.twitter.com/eC46iP0yiu
— Kevin Finnerty (@timeimmemorial_) January 6, 2021
we are LIVE here at the capitol and what is this?! ITS.. ITS BERNIE WITH A STEEL CHAIR! pic.twitter.com/y3J2dPznlw
— soup enjoyer (@ilovesoup69) January 6, 2021
I know all those Gerard Butler movies are fiction, but you’re telling me there is no strategic response plan for a violent siege of the US Capitol?
— Brendan Keefe (@BrendanKeefe) January 6, 2021
— Prosper (@Prosper458) January 6, 2021
cops at cops at
blm protest the capitol pic.twitter.com/7VAlM5d0ux
— thanos (@thanosoutdid) January 6, 2021
Mariah Carey on her way to the Capitol building to end the riot pic.twitter.com/lXRoUnAFh4
— (@PRIMERIAH) January 6, 2021
Were any of these people who stormed the capitol the same people who were upset about people taking a knee?
— Thomas Sanders (@ThomasSanders) January 6, 2021
— Parody Boris Johnson (@BorisJohnson_MP) January 6, 2021
And we leave you with this mind-fuck from our president:
trump actually just said i love you to the terrorists at capitol hill, he called them special… i’m at a loss for words pic.twitter.com/ZSkcISiL80
— jade (@cristinasoh) January 6, 2021
Be safe out there, folks. And stay on the right side of history (which tends to be on the left, politically).
Cover Photo: Anadolu Agency / Contributor (Getty Images)
Biden vs. Trump: Which Political Candidate Has Better Hair?
Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.
Weird News 10-07-2020
News Anchor Accidentally Says Another Member of White House Tests Positive For Cocaine, Well He May Not Be Wrong
Three-Legged Bear Caught on Camera Stealing Diet Coke From Garage, Can’t Taste the Feeling
8 Evil Ways the 2020 Presidential Election Will Be Ridiculous and Unprecedented
Secret Man Cave Found Under NYC Grand Central Terminal, Still Awaiting Our Invitation to For Distant Group Hang
Jaime Harrison Runs Circles Around Lindsey Graham in South Carolina Senate Debate (Watch This Pillsbury Doughboy Get Cooked!)
The Best Reaction Tweets to Trump’s COVID-19 Diagnosis
Trending #FatBearWeek Pits Bears Against One Another in Adorable Body-Shaming Event
Rick Moranis Attacked on New York City Street (Nobody Attacks Rick Moranis in My Country!)
Oh, Baby! Pregnant Woman Saves Husband From Shark Attack
Trump’s Pathetic Hospital Parade Is a Sad Reminder That Toxic Masculinity Doesn’t Do Sick Days
Make America Horny Again: Sex Shop Gives Away Patriotic Vibrators to Encourage Voter Participation
‘Get Your Booty to the Poll’ PSA Uses Strippers to Motivate Voters, We Vote Yes!