ORLANDO, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 28: Former U.S. President Donald Trump addresses the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) held in the Hyatt Regency on February 28, 2021 in Orlando, Florida. Begun in 1974, CPAC brings together conservative organizations, activists, and world leaders to discuss issues important to them. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images)

Former Blogger Donald Trump Scraps Blog After 29 Days (And You’ll Never Guess Who’s Protesting the Shutdown)

Since the start of the year, nothing in the world has been more noticeably felt than the absence of Donald Trump. After getting banned from Facebook and Twitter before begrudgingly vacating the White House, the neverending noise and fury of Donald Trump have dwindled to the whimper of an unimpressive fart. But not for lack of trying.

When faced with limited social media platforms to lob his nuggets of brilliance, Trump did what any old man with a Dell computer and slow internet access would do. He started a blog.

With great pomp and circumstance (including a movie trailer proclaiming, “In a time of silence and lies, a beacon of freedom arises,”) the arrival of “From the Desk of Donald J. Trump” landed with a thud, attracting such little readership in its first week, it made the news for being a total embarrassment.

Things went downhill from there, with the site averaging 4,000 visits a day despite Trump churning out more blog posts in a last-ditch effort to snag eyeballs. But nothing could save the fledgling forum from certain doom and after just 29 days, the twice-impeached Florida Man officially demolished his first attempt at social media sovereignty.

While we all know Trump’s blog was just a fundraising front to pay for his mounting legal bills, it’s kind of sad to see someone’s creative pursuits go straight down the gutter in less time than it takes a carton of oat milk to expire.

But Trump’s social media team promises better things to come. According to a spokesperson, the launch of his new social media site promises to be “the hottest ticket” in social media as “it’s going to completely redefine the game.” Just like the MyPillowGuy’s platform did.

Until then, Trump will continue to crash weddings (and funerals) held at The Mar-a-Lago Club where the disgraced ex-president is biding his time until the property is overtaken by rising sea levels and he can finally fulfill his true destiny as the orange creature from the black lagoon. And just like with his now-defunct blog, when that happens, no one will even tweet about it.

Cover Photo: Joe Raedle / Staff (Getty Images)

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