Donald Trump ‘Truth Social’ Launches Despite Not Being Fully Operational, Follows Pattern of Every Sexual Encounter He’s Ever Had

Donald Trump is no stranger to doing things half-cocked. From Trump Vodka to Trump Airlines the Man of Mar-a-Lago has a long history of half-masted maneuvers. And now Truth Social, Trump’s billion-dollar solution to his stinging Twitter ban is following the pattern quite nicely.

Just ask former first lady Melania Trump. Mere weeks before her husband’s huge social media launch, Melania signed an exclusive content deal with competitor Parler, the app famous for its role in the January 6 insurrection. Respectfully, we don’t want to speculate. But obviously, the lady knows a thing or two about Trump’s flaccid approach and opted to steer clear.

Melania’s instincts proved correct, as Truth Social has gotten off to a limp start. The platform which bills itself as a safe space for freedom lovers comes with a list of caveats, including rules about not badmouthing Trump or the app itself. For instance, if we were to call Trump a “tiny-fingered cheese puff” we would likely get banned and/or sued.

But before we can even resort to name-calling, we’d have to first successfully sign up for Truth Social, which so far has been impossible to do. Thanks to lousy back-end development by a guy who once unsuccessfully sued a person pretending to be a cow on Twitter (hi, Devin Nunes), the app has thus far only been able to send out error messages when trying to sign up.

All things considered, we wouldn’t be surprised if this business venture (much like his From Desk of Donald J. Trump blog and Magacoin crypto), fails faster than a Donald re-election. Until then, we hope the big guy starts another blog to explain his support of Russia’s proposed invasion of Ukraine along with his thinking behind stealing all those very important files from the White House.

Cover Photo: DON EMMERT (Getty Images)


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