MyPillow Guy Launches Social Media Site and It Has the Whitest Name Ever

You could say that MyPillow guy Mike Lindell and former White House guy Donald Trump have a lot in common. Both have substantial paunches and jowls. Both have operated businesses that manufactured and sold shitty products. And both have been banned from Twitter for spreading falsehoods about the 2020 election – which probably explains why both cartoonish-looking, old white men are starting their own social media sites.

Say hello to Frank, the last cry for help from a wealthy, privileged, lonely man-boy. Yet despite its name (defined as open, honest, and direct especially when dealing with unpalatable matters) the free-speech site won’t allow any swearing, porn, or blasphemy (because God helped Lindell beat crack goddamit). Incidentally, it will allow for fake news, right-wing conspiracy theories, and baseless claims.

Even the static landing page (which will presumably be operational at some point) contains the falsehood, Frank “will be the platform for Americans who want to defend life, liberty, and all the freedoms that have marked America as the longest-running Constitutional Republic in the history of the world.”

Sounds impressive, if you ignore the fact that the longest-running constitutional republic in the world is San Marino.

The site, which aims to be a cross between Twitter and YouTube, launches on 4/20, but “VIPs” can gain access to the massive “Frank-a-thon” a few days early by paying a premium. Frank also boasts of being the “most secure platform ever,” no doubt an invitation to freedom-hating hackers around the world to prove this claim is also fake news. Frankly, we can’t wait to see what happens.

Cover Photo: Stephen Maturen / Stringer (Getty Images)

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