Trump to Return to Social Media With His Own Platform (10 Hilarious Ideas For What It’ll Be Called)
Without social media, it’s hard to be heard these days. At least, it is if your name is Donald Trump. The former, twice-impeached president of the United States has been banned from multiple social media platforms, alienating him from his rabid followers (who should really be called domestic terrorists after the insurrection at the Capitol).
But we digress. The headline is: Trump is plotting his own social media platform where he can spew hatred and nonsense using ghastly grammar and improper punctuation, where his “proud boys” can gather to rail on Hillary Clinton and swap conspiracy theories, and where the alt-right can plan its next atrocious attack on American democracy.
Whether this platform will be like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, or Grindr (come on, it’s not like the thought hasn’t crossed your mind), we don’t know. In his trademark vague way, Trump told a Fox News contributor, “I’m doing things having to do with putting our own platform out there that you’ll be hearing about soon.”
In the meantime, we’ve come up with some name ideas for said platform based on 45’s infamous word flubs and favorite catchphrases.
Scroll along, have a laugh, but whatever you do, don’t join Trump’s social media platform. That man has gotten enough airtime to last a lifetime, none of it deserved.
Cover Photo: Drew Angerer / Staff (Getty Images)
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Only insiders know what it means.
For the misogynistic patriot who feels emasculated by liberals and/or women.
Another term Trump made up for something he doesn’t understand.
Only white Nationalists will know how to access it.
Take that, Zuckerberg!
Like Twitter, but you can only tweet adoration at Trump.
No non-native English speakers allowed.
Find a nearby pissed-off person to rage with you now!
Just a place to post big-dick pics, basically.
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