MyPillow Guy ‘Attacked’ by Aggressive Selfie Seeker, Dude Can’t Take a Poke

In case you haven’t heard, MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell has had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad three days. The kooky CEO (and Trump keister kisser) has been stumping for the ex-president’s election fraud conspiracy since November. But things went from bad to worse during Lindell’s recent 72-hour cyber symposium when he was “attacked” by an unknown assailant outside his hotel room.

Lindell’s rapturists-style event, in which he promised to not sleep for three straight days, was fraught with issues from the get-go. His production team apparently didn’t get the no-sleep memo and interrupted a perfectly incoherent rant to break for lunch. After lunch, one of Lindell’s guest speakers, Steve Bannon, turned on him.

Then came the poke.

As Lindell was heading to his hotel room after another rousing vomit-fest of nonsensical meanderings, members from “Antifa” ran up to him and ensnared him in a vicious “attack”.

At least that’s what Lindell claimed for one fleeting moment. But after filing a police report, the attack was quickly downgraded to nothing more than an aggressive selfie seeker who poked Lindell with his finger.

Explaining the attack on live television, Lindell said two men “kind of ran up” to him and asked for a picture. One of the men “put his arm around and stuck his finger, it was so much pressure… He jammed it in where it was just piercing pain.”

Of course, Mr. PillowGuy doesn’t say exactly where the finger landed, but we’ll just let our imaginations run wild here.

The next day, he told his audience at the symposium about the assault, letting them know, he was, “OK,” but that, “it hurts a little bit.” Adding, “I just want everyone to know all the evil that’s out there.”

What a sweet man.

So basically Mike Lindell’s assault claim fizzled out just like his election fraud claim has. Oh yeah. Did we forget to mention that?

Turns out Lindell had a hard drive full of “proof” about the election tampering, but when he handed it over to a cybersecurity expert, the guy found no evidence whatsoever of election fraud, which led to yet another unfortunate series of unhinged behavior.

But that’s a story for another day. Believe it or not, the insane saga of the MyPillow Guy is far from over.

Cover Photo: Anadolu Agency (Getty Images)

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