Meanwhile in England: Naked Revelers Overtake Sherwood Forest, Bring Graphic New Meaning to the Term Merry Men

You might not be able to see Robin Hood walking around Sherwood Forest these days, but if you go when the weather is just right, you’ll probably see a few Little Johns.

Locals are furious after at least a dozen nudists have made Robin Hood’s hideout – the 1,000-year-old Major Oak tree in Sherwood Forest – their new stomping grounds. The roaming pack of what the British call “naturists” have appeared in droves during the mid-summer heatwave, forcing some nearby residents to take it up with the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) who oversees the park.

Robert Robinson, the man behind the petition to ban the longbowman says, “Every day, in good weather, nudists can be seen. The police state it is an offense if we find it offensive, which we do.”

You gotta love a classic case of police not wanting to get involved.

So far 81 people have signed the petition, including one woman who wrote, “I’ve walked this area for 18 years, since June 2020 there are so many naked men walking around, it’s intimidating and alarming.”

We can totally relate. Twelve merry men in the buff, possibly frolicking, strikes a terrifying image.

But surprisingly, the RSPB showed full-frontal support for the merry men, saying, “naturists have walked in quieter areas of the forest for decades and it was legal providing they follow the rules” including but not limited to “wearing clothes when leaving and returning to their cars.”

Peter Wright, speaking on behalf of the British Naturists took offense to the petition defiling his pastime, saying, “Naturism is about being in nature and being naked is quite natural and quite normal.” Especially in a gooseberry bush in the middle of broad daylight.

For now, it looks as though the petitioners won’t have much luck ridding their woods of the pesky peckers. Which is a very English conundrum considering that in this case, where there’s a bird in the hand there’s probably ten more in the bush.

Cover Photo: tihomir_todorov (Getty Images)

Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.