Meanwhile in Ukraine: Chernobyl Vodka Made From ‘Radioactive’ Apples Seized By Customs, Americans Never Get to Have Any Fun

Why drink regular, old non-radioactive vodka when you can have Chernobyl’s best? The Ukrainian government seems to agree because they just confiscated the entire 1,500 bottle collection of Atomik vodka before it could leave the country.

In case you haven’t heard, Chernobyl was the site of one of the worst nuclear power plant disasters in history and has been riddled with deadly levels of radiation since 1986. In 2019, Ukrainian and British scientists began testing the soil by taking rye grain and water from Chernobyl’s “Exclusion Zone” to make vodka and determine if farming would ever be possible.

After promising first-round results, the team of scientists added apples from the Exclusion Zone to create a delightful apple vodka. Through vigorous testing, the scientist found that while the apples contained small amounts of radiation, they were able to remove it completely during the distillation process, proving a Chernobyl harvest was no longer the stuff of science fiction.

The limited-edition vodka was expected by British scientists in Southampton for further testing before going on sale worldwide. Unfortunately, as the liquor was being prepared for shipment, Ukrainian security services seized the export at a distillery in Western Ukraine, citing a problem – not with the radioactive ingredients – but with the bottle’s customs forms.

The sudden requisition of the historic Atomik collection is not only a sad turn of events for liquor aficionados, but it’s also a blow to the important research these scientists have been undertaking to rehabilitate a former wasteland. Not to mention, the liquor was only $50 a pop and would have made a great gift for Father’s Day.

Scientists involved with the study hope the seizure is just a simple misunderstanding and are optimistic the liquor will be returned in due time. But we have a sneaking suspicion Russian president extraordinaire (and friend of Ukraine), Vladimir Putin may have taken it to enlarge his exotic liquor collection. Or quite possibly, to enlarge another member of his cabinet via shots of highly experimental super-growth radiation. After all, the sexiest man in Russia has a reputation to (firmly) uphold.

Cover Photo: Cathy Scola (Getty Images)

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