Meanwhile in Fast Food: Arby’s Making Curly Fry-Flavored Vodka, Looks Better Than It Sounds (And Probably Tastes)

Beverages flavored like food is one aspect of the drink industry we will never understand…or endorse. The latest blasphemous creation of this kind comes from none other than Arby’s. Yes, the roast beef fast-food chain is now getting into…vodka?!

The Georgia-based restaurant behemoth has revealed two new varieties of the spirit, both created with savory palates in mind. The first is Curly Fry Vodka, which, according to a press release, “preserves the distinguished and authentic flavor profile” of its iconic side, and is distilled with cayenne, paprika, onion and garlic. If that sounds a little too strong for your taste, there’s always the more “subtle” Crinkle Fry Vodka, which contains sugar and real kosher salt.

“Though we’ve mastered the art of drive-thru fries, we wanted to take it one step further by making them 80-proof,” said Patrick Schwing, chief marketing officer of Arby’s.

The company partnered with Tattersall Distilling in Minneapolis, Minnesota to make the vile mixture. (Why that respected venue would want to team up with the evil corporate overlords for such a stomach-churning mashup is beyond us.)

If you didn’t have a hard time keeping your liquor down before, we guarantee you will now with a sip from either of these bottles. You’ll also notice your wallet losing weight, as the booze will retail for a whopping $60 a bottle.

The internet was divided on the fry-flavored vodka news, though most predicted it would be disgusting and even downright dangerous to consume.

Took a shot of Arbys crinkle fry vodka and woke up here pic.twitter.com/xNtc7Jhrik

— OHHCHUTA? (@ohhchuta) November 10, 2021

Had a shot of the Arby’s vodka pic.twitter.com/rr6DzlXfXI

— macro (@marco0_0x) November 10, 2021

Arby's vodka has to be like drinking battery acid https://t.co/ZfH1bihpuU

— cryptic incognito (@CrypticNoHoes) November 10, 2021

So we have a vodka now. It pairs well with shame and is best consumed on early mornings, while walking into the sea, driving around in tears and while pouring into a gunshot wound to cauterize it.

Enjoy Arby’s

— Nihilist Arby's (@nihilist_arbys) November 10, 2021

The bottles drop Nov. 18 for a limited time in select cities around the U.S. We love our vodka – and our curly fries – in moderation from time to time, but we’re going to sit this round out, thanks.

Cover Photo: Arby’s

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