Bill Cosby
NORRISTOWN, PA - SEPTEMBER 25: Actor/stand-up comedian Bill Cosby arrives for sentencing for his sexual assault trial at the Montgomery County Courthouse on September 25, 2018 in Norristown, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images)

Bill Cosby Loses Sexual Assault Appeal, Still Awaiting Decision for Extra Pudding at Dinner

Bill Cosby, formerly known as “America’s Dad,” has proven himself to be more like America’s mom’s drug-addicted boyfriend who went out for cigarettes one night and later appeared on the local news under arrest for multiple warrants. And truth be told, mom’s ex is still more of an upstanding citizen than Cosby. At least with mom, it was consensual. That was not the case with the multiple women Cosby was convicted of sexually assaulting throughout his career.

Despite that conviction, Cosby is still holding out hope that the courts will remember how funny his show was 30 years ago. Unfortunately for “The Wizard of Coz,” most of us can see the man behind the curtain and we see how big of a monster he really is. So, too, did a Pennsylvania Superior Court, as three judges unanimously voted to reject Cosby’s most recent appeal. We cannot confirm nor deny that Jell-O pudding pops were offered as a bribe, but we can confirm that no amount of “heart-to-heart” talks with Theo are going to result in Cosby’s freedom. As he sulked back to his jail cell, one can imagine that the only solace he had was the knowledge that dessert that evening would be his beloved pudding. But, in yet another cruel twist of fate, it ended up being fuckin’ tapioca.

Photo Credit: Gilbert Carrasquillo (Getty Images)

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