Deadly Caterpillar (That Could Double as Trump Hairpiece) Terrorizes Residents of Virginia

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Donald Trump’s toupee!

Nope. It’s a venomous caterpillar, and it’s terrorizing the residents of Virginia. Officially named the “puss caterpillar” (we can’t even), the hairy creature looks like something that crawled off President Trump’s head and refused to die.

Speaking of death, if you see this freak of nature, stay away from it.

“It’s not going to reach out and bite you, but if someone brushes up against that hair, it’ll release toxins that you’ll have a reaction to,” Theresa Dellinger, a diagnostician at the Insect Identification Lab at Virginia Tech, told CNN.

That reaction could manifest as a fever, itchy rash, vomiting, swollen glands, or pain on par with a “scorching-hot knife.” Yowza. If you go head to head with this weird-looking beast, and you’re allergic to bee stings or other insect bites, get thee to a hospital, STAT.

These puss caterpillars infiltrating the East Coast are far from home; usually, they’re spotted in the South or the Midwest. Why the migration? Climate change, probably, which, as we know, ruins everything. We can only hope they migrate to Washington, D.C. next, and stage a coup. As caterpillars are wont to do.

Cover Photo: Virginia Department of Forestry

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