Florida Toes

Meanwhile in Florida: Man Wakes Up to Burglar Sucking His Toes, Didn’t Even Get Dinner First

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring…except for a burglar who broke into a man’s house to two do things: suck toes and chew bubblegum — and he was all out of bubblegum. On Christmas Eve, a Florida man was startled awake when he noticed somebody sucking his toes. In a scene reminiscent of the old urban legend, the man reached over the side of his bed and found that his dog was sleeping right where he left him, which meant only one thing: somebody was in the house with him. The man quickly kicked off the covers to discover a burglar down by his feet.

According to The Bradenton Herald, when the man asked what the burglar was doing, the man responded by saying he was “there to suck toes.” The New York Post reports that a fight erupted when the man tried kicking the toe-sucker out of his bed. The suspect tried to grab the man’s genitals and threatened that he had a gun. Eventually, the victim kicked the guy out of his bed, and house, and alerted the authorities. In order to track down the criminal (we’re not making this up), authorities took DNA swabs from the victim’s toes. 

Cover Photo: efenzi (Getty Images)

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