Meanwhile in Tennessee: Man Cuts Off His Penis and Tosses It at Police, And We’re Not Sure What to Do With That (Neither Were They)

We’ve all been there, having a pretty rough day, and trying to tough it out. You get in your car, you’re upset, maybe you’re driving kind of like an asshole, but you gotta vent somehow. Then you see it, the flashing lights in your rear view mirror… things are about to get a lot worse. This is what happened to 39-year-old Tyson Gilbert, who responded to being pulled over by cutting off his penis and tossing it out his car window.

All this accoring to local Cookeville station WJLE, Gilbert apparently had stopped his car in the middle of a busy highway, slowing traffic. When a police car pulled up behind him, Gilbert waited for the car to come to a complete stop and then took off like a bat out of hell. At some point he also cut off his penis and threw it at police while taking them on a chase through two counties.

According to authorities in charge of the investigation, Gilbert claimed voices from his car radio told him to cut his penis off cut off his penis to “save the world.” You know, because cutting dicks off is obviously what’s gonna save humanity from itself.

Reports out of Alexandria Police Department claim Gilbert has received treatment for his, little injury, but will continue to deal with law enforcement outside of the penis hacking incident. Because he obviously has other active warrants against him for unspecified offenses.

Cover Photo: Xu Xiaolin (Getty Images)