penises
Boy with hands holding his crotch in toilet.

Meanwhile in Brazil: Surgeons Operate on Boy Born With Two Penises, Totally Ruin His Future OnlyFans Fortune

We’re going to take a wild guess and say that your penis is probably one of your most beloved body parts. Maybe even your favorite! You wouldn’t trade it for the world (unless there was a way to get a bigger one). And you definitely wouldn’t let a surgeon lop it off unless it was seriously infected and rotting (and even then, maybe not). Let’s be blunt: we love penises.

Well, one poor little boy in São Paulo, Brazil, is not so lucky. Or rather, he was, but surgeons fucked it all up. That’s because he was born with not one but two penises! According to medical literature, only 100 men have ever been born with two times the average amount of cock (a condition officially called diphallia).

In this case, the meat sticks lay side by side and were both functional, meaning the boy has “complete diphallia” rather than the inferior double-dick scenario where one member works and the other is just an “accessory” penis. (An “accessory penis” still sounds kind of fun, though.) The boy’s mom even confirmed that both penises were capable of becoming erect. (Mom! How embarrassing!)

The doctors determined they couldn’t just let this freak of nature go into the world packing double heat, so they decided to remove one of the penises. For reasons we simply cannot understand (and no man would ever forgive), the team of doctors removed the larger penis and left the boy with the smaller one. (Actually, they had a pretty good reason: the boy could pee with the smaller penis, but not with the big one.)

So the good doctors lopped it off and even filmed the procedure – just in case this experience wasn’t humiliating enough for that poor boy.

All we have to say is: how dare these docs go and ruin a beautiful thing like this? Don’t they know the boy could’ve made a killing on OnlyFans when he grew up?

Cover Photo: baona (Getty Images)

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