Penises Are Getting Smaller Due to Pollution, Study Says ‘Yeah That Excuse Should Work Awhile For Ya’

Photo: Cavan Images (Getty Images)

We’re sorry to tell you if your head has been stuck beneath a proverbial rock, but we’re in the midst of a climate crisis. To put it bluntly, pollution and other factors have created global warming and climate change that is drastically affecting the Earth. But if you didn’t already care about global warming and its consequences, maybe you will after you learn that scientists are saying that all that pollution is having a negative impact on our penises.

Dr. Shanna Swan, an epidemiologist, recently wrote a book called Count Down where she explains that the climate crisis is causing penises to shrink. If the changing climate and garbage islands suffocating sea life wasn’t enough for your to care about the Earth, maybe the potential of a shrinking penis will.

In her book, she makes links between the use of industrial chemicals and penile length. But that’s not all. Pollution is leading to erectile dysfunction, a decline in fertility, and now future generations being born with smaller than normal penises.

The good news is that if you’re an adult, your penis size is likely safe. It’s just that our children might not be so lucky. For their sake, we should all go out and plant a tree or two right now.

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