california parachuter

Meanwhile in California: Parachuter Crashes Through Roof Into Kitchen, Stunned by Sparse Cheese Course Upon Arrival

Talk about a crash landing! A parachuter recently plunged through the roof of a Southern California home and landed in the kitchen during a military training exercise gone horribly wrong.

The airborne man in question was a British soldier from Camp Roberts whose chute failed to fully open, causing him to catapult into the Atascadero abode last week. He was the only member of his jumping group to fuck up the landing so royally.

“The parachutist was conscious but stunned with complaints of pain but no visible serious injuries,” the Atascadero Police Department said in a recent news release. “The occupants of the residence were not home at the time and therefore were uninjured.”

The house didn’t fare so well, however. The parachutist damaged the ceiling and shattered sheetrock, though he luckily missed the counters and appliances.

He made landfall around 5 p.m., prime appetizer hour, and we can only imagine how disappointed he must have been to find there was no one home to offer him a stiff drink and some salty snacks.

Cover Photo: Twitter