Local Dog Confused As His Humans Begin to Wear Muzzles and Crate Train Themselves

We can all agree that this is a crazy time to be alive. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, sports are canceled, presidents are bragging about ratings as people are dying, neighbors are singing to each other and we’re all howling at the moon. Plus, we still don’t have any fucking toilet paper. Still, for however weird it is for us, just imagine what the world must look like to our dogs right now. It was strange enough when we all started to work from home. But now, we’re putting ourselves through things that, in their minds, must mean we’re in trouble.

“I don’t know whose floor they peed on,” one dog told us on the basis of anonymity, “but they must have been told ‘no’ a hundred times if they’re in this much trouble.”

Indeed, hundreds of thousands of doggos must be wondering why their owners have started putting muzzles on — by choice, no less — and have been holing up in their “crates” for days on end. It’s a confusing time to be a dog; of this, there is no doubt. But even the dogs are wondering why some humans just cannot grasp what it means to “sit” and “stay.”

Cover Photo: Chris McLoughlin (Getty Images)

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