Woman Arrested for Stealing Car, Claims She’s Beyoncé, Wouldn’t Have Happened ‘If I Was A Boy’

Destiny must have had different plans for this woman from Las Cruces, New Mexico. Surena Henry, 48, was recently arrested after an officer noticed that the car she was driving resembled one that had recently been reported stolen. The officer threw on his lights while following Henry, but she chose not to pull over, instead leading the officer on, like, a medium-speed chase until she was able to park in front of her own house, no doubt channeling her inner 5-year-old playing tag and thinking that the cops can’t arrest you if you’re able to “touch base.” Well, they can and they did.

The officer approached Henry and asked why she didn’t pull over, to which she replied that she “didn’t feel like it.” Fair enough. When pressed further, Henry said that she saw the car had its keys in the ignition, so she decided to take it for a joyride. She also told the officer that she was Beyoncé Knowles — you know, the Grammy Award-winning, multi-platinum recording artist who also happens to be married to Jay-Z and is the matriarch of an entire empire (state of mind). For some reason, Henry opted not to call her “husband,” and she was taken into custody. We guess the officers liked it, so they put a ring on it. And by “ring,” we mean “handcuffs.”

This never would have happened to Kelly Rowland.

Cover Photo: Jeremy Woodhouse (Getty Images)

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