Johnny Depp Calling Ex-Wife ‘Amber Turd’ After She Literally (And Allegedly) Shat the Bed Is All We Needed to Hear Today

Well, this is a shitty way to treat your spouse. But should we expect anything less from Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, two of the vilest people in show biz – and perhaps the worst celebrity couple ever? In recent testimony in a libel trial, Depp told a British court that Heard shat the bed – literally – as a prank and he, in turn, dubbed her “Amber Turd.”

Allegedly, the dirty deed happened the day after the doomed duo celebrated Heard’s 30th birthday in 2016. Depp received photographs of poop in their bed, as discovered by a cleaner – who definitely doesn’t get paid enough to deal with these people’s shit.

“Not sure I’ve laughed that hard for years. At least the photos are hilarious,” Depp apparently texted someone after the incident.

In cross-examination, he explained his reaction this way, according to the Daily Mail: “It was one of the most absurd, unexpected statements that I have ever witnessed in my life, so yes, initially I did laugh because it was so strange.”

How this is in any way relevant to the lawsuit Depp has brought against The Sun for calling him a “wife beater” in 2018 is as clear as mud – make that feces – to us. But there you have it. At least your tax dollars aren’t paying for these bullshit legal proceedings.

Cover Photo: Michael Kovac / Contributor (Getty Images)