In case you’ve been living under a rock or simply ignoring the most obnoxious couple to ever wed, then divorce, Depp has been on the stand detailing the alleged abuse he suffered at Heard’s hand (and, apparently, asshole) during their toxic relationship.
During the testimony in question, Depp said that Heard took a dump on his side of the bed in an act of revenge after a fight. But apparently, Heard “tried to blame it on the dogs. They’re teacup Yorkies, they weigh three pounds each,” Depp said. “It was our bed, and on my side of the bed, there was human fecal matter. I laughed. It was so bizarre. So grotesque. What else could I do but laugh?”
Nothing, we guess? Hand her a bedpan or a plastic bag? Maybe break up with her when you were done laughing? Alas. This guy was apparently so stupid (or so pussy-whipped), none of those things occurred to him.
In the courtroom, the New York Post reported that “the tale of the infamous poop accident did seem to enliven the gallery, with many raising their eyebrows, whispering, shaking their heads, and laughing when images of feces on the couple’s bed were shown in court.”
Talk about airing your dirty laundry in public! We’re seriously ready for this line of questioning – not to mention this trial – to end, but not before Twitter gets in a few hot takes – and a couple of clever hashtags.
These are the funniest tweet reactions to Johnny Depp’s #mepoo moment with #AmberTurd.
Cover Photo: JIM WATSON / Contributor and STEVE HELBER / Contributor (Getty Images)
— Kazam (@WhiteAlakazam) April 20, 2022
— itsallrealitv (@itsallrealitv) April 20, 2022
— GSG the Original (@GSGtheOriginal) April 21, 2022
— Deranged-Peanut (@SgamingMo) April 21, 2022
When you realize Johnny Depp, an American icon, just told the world how your physically abuse escalated to shitting in his bed and blaming a god damn CHORKY A THREE POUND CHORKY I have a Chorky…. It's like little malted chocolate size.#mepoo pic.twitter.com/4praLTACze
— grumpkin pumpkin (@Grumpkin_Show) April 20, 2022
— Dan Nowell (@dpnowell) April 20, 2022
— Mocking Media (@mocking_media) April 20, 2022
— DEANNA GRAVELDING (@DEANNAGRAVELDI1) April 20, 2022
— ψ Hannah, Not Complying ψ (@bornbandito) April 20, 2022
— Esmerelda Pinchbuns ???? (@bellevue1970) April 21, 2022
— Dee (@wescravenss) April 20, 2022
— Adam__Mats (@mats_adam) April 21, 2022
— ArrozConPollo ✈️ (@KiannaBanana) April 20, 2022