OREO Vault Seeks to Save Mankind’s Most Treasured Commodity From Doomsday Asteroid, Plan on Double Stuffing Your Face For an Eternity

A decade ago, the world learned about the Svalbard Global Seed Vault. This secure seed bank is located on the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen on the Svalbard archipelago. It was created to preserve seeds in an effort to make sure certain plants remain even in the midst of some type of global epidemic. And no, we’re not talking about COVID. Think global warming destroying crops and killing off trees. That’s what the Svalbard Global Seed Vault is for. Like all of us, the folks at Oreo saw the news and realized that while the world’s seeds are safe, what about its chocolate and crème cookies?

With the news that NASA has reported that an asteroid is heading towards Earth on Nov. 2, the night before the presidential election, Oreo decided that the time was right to tell the world about its own arctic vault.

It’s called the Global OREO Vault and it’s asteroid proof and built into the permafrost of Svalbard, Norway on the very same archipelago as the aforementioned seed vault. In Oreo’s facility, you’ll find Oreo cookies (wrapped in mylar to keep them fresh in temperatures as cold as -80 degrees and as hot as 300 degrees), powdered milk, and the top-secret recipe for its iconic cookies. Safe and sound from a chemical attack, asteroid, chocolate-loving alien invasion, or even global warming.

While this seems like a joke, it’s real. Oreo even divulged the vault’s coordinates. They’re 78°08’58.1”N, 16°01’59.7″E so you know where to go if there is even an apocalyptic event that wipes out all of the packages of Oreo cookies throughout the world.

Photo: Oreo

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