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Meanwhile on Mars: Sperm Can Survive 200 Years, Scientists Calling It First Jizzworthy Planet

If there isn’t life on Mars now, it won’t be long until there is. Too much life, in fact, if scientists are right in their latest assertion. The experts have determined that sperm can somehow survive for hundreds of years on the Red Planet.

“These discoveries are essential for mankind to progress into the space age,” Professor Sayaka Wakayama, lead research author and scientist at Japan’s University of Yamanashi, told the Daily Mail of the study.

If you’re feeling jealous that a bunch of dudes got paid to jack off and send their jizz into space for the study, don’t. The scientists actually studied freeze-dried mouse sperm that had been stored on the International Space Station for six years.

Previously, experts believed space radiation would destroy the rodent spunk. That didn’t turn out to be the case; in fact, the scientists are confident that the little swimmers can survive as long as 200 years on Mars and are capable of producing genetically normal offspring. This bodes well for the future of human reproduction.

“When the time comes to migrate to other planets, we will need to maintain the diversity of genetic resources, not only for humans but also for pets and domestic animals,” said Wakayama.

In other words, it will be of the utmost importance to get it on, hard, when we all relocate to Mars so we can populate the planet with alien babies. This might be the best out-of-this-world news we’ve heard in a long time. Moving day can’t *come* soon enough!

Cover Photo: artpartner-images (Getty Images)