CultureRapper Lil Uzi Vert Becomes First Person to Buy a Planet, Jeff Bezos Likely Seething at Obvious Missed Opportunityby Ken Franklin
Fun‘Billionaire Flesh Rocket’ Dildos Modeled After Richard Branson, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk Promise Out-of-This-World Orgasmsby Mandatory Editors
FunJeff Bezos’ Evil Laugh After Blue Origin Return Now Makes Us Hate Ourselves So Much For All Those Pandemic Amazon Bingesby Christopher Osburn
FunMandatory Funniest Tweets About Jeff Bezos’ Dick-Shaped Rocket on Twitter, Ship Matches the Drapes (And Probably Everything Else)by Mandatory Editors
FunSpace Cowboy Jeff Bezos Safely Returns to Earth After Brief Blue Origin Jaunt (You’re Stuck With Him, Says the Cosmos)by Mandatory Editors
FunMeanwhile on Mars: Sperm Can Survive 200 Years, Scientists Calling It First Jizzworthy Planetby Mandatory Editors
FunJeff Bezos Should Be Denied Re-Entry to Earth Says Petition With Thousands of Signaturesby Mandatory Editors
FunMeanwhile in Space: Jeff Bezos to Take First Blue Origin Flight Next Month, Earth Scrambling to Create No-Return Policyby Mandatory Editors
Food & DrinkBottle of Space-Aged Wine Could Sell For Up to $1 Million (Spaceship Not Included)by Mandatory Editors
FunMars Rover Takes Selfie With Helicopter (And You Thought Influencers Were Annoying)by Mandatory Editors
