Meanwhile in Florida: Man Breaks World Record For Watching ‘Avengers: Endgame’ 191 Times, Obviously Spent His Quarantine Downtime More Wisely Than Any of Us

It’s a great day to be alive. Despite all the horrible shit happening on a daily basis (of which you already know, so we won’t go into details) there’s reason to hope. Because it just so happens we are living in the presence of greatness. You can tell your grandchildren that you were alive when Florida Man broke the world record for watching Avengers: Endgame 191 times.

Crazy to think we breathe the same rarefied air as Ramiro Alanis, the personal trainer and record holder who sacrificed 16 pounds of muscle to reach his dream. While we spent the last year cowering inside our homes, worrying about the future, and trying to make ends meet, he was busy blazing a new dawn.

Well, sort of. In reality, Alanis had already broken the world record back in 2019 just three months after Avenger’s: Endgame hit theaters. But apparently, Guinness just recently got round to printing out his certificate and popping it in the mail (because finalizing some world records can wait until after literally everything else is out of the way), bringing an end to a saga fit for the MCU.

Alanis celebrated his new place in history with a classy Tweet saying “I’m Officially Amazing!!!” in the somber tone we’ve come to expect of a champion. As theaters reopen across the nation this month, all eyes are on Alanis to see if lightning does in fact strike twice.

While some people drift about aimlessly, too scared to make choices out of fear they’ll never be able to return to where they started, others go after their goals with the temerity of a tiger. Yet the truth is, we can never go back to what once was, whether we conquer our dreams or not. Ramiro Alanis knows this. And now he has a certificate encased in laminate to prove it. Hey, that’s more than we did all year.

Cover Photo: Ramiro Alanis (Twitter)

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