What Your Favorite ‘Succession’ Character Says About You
By now, you’ve surely seen HBO’s Succession. (And if you haven’t, WTF are you waiting for?!) The Emmy award-winning satirical drama centers around the Roy family, which owns a media conglomerate headed by domineering patriarch Logan Roy (Brian Cox). But as Logan ages and his health wanes, his wife, adult children, and longtime colleagues start battling it out to see who will take control of the family business.
Every character on Succession is meticulously written and superbly acted. There are no cookie-cutter archetypes here but rather fully fleshed-out, hilariously flawed, and complex human beings. As a viewer, you can’t help but love some, hate others, and gravitate toward one particular person who resonates with you. Why is that? Well, we’ve done the psychoanalysis for you and will clue you in. Here’s what your favorite Succession character says about you!
You had a rough upbringing and were probably beaten by your dad when growing up. As a result, you believe in tough love and reward loyalty. Your expectations for others are so high that everyone disappoints you on the regular and you often feel angry about the imbeciles you seem to be surrounded by. You're a control freak because you've learned that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
You're a trust fund kid who's never had to work a day in his life. This means you have a lot of seemingly brilliant ideas that will never come to fruition. Since you have daddy bankrolling your entire existence, though, you can embark on a few frivolous projects (like running for public office) that will ultimately fail. You're also vocally against the whole concept of government, especially "entitlement programs" because, obviously, people should use their family wealth as their safety net, not the government.
You're a perfectionist workaholic, which, ironically, has also made you susceptible to being an alcoholic (or addict; pick your poison). Your incessant striving gives you no joy; you only do it in the hopes of earning your parents' approval, which never comes. You live in your father's shadow and try to emulate him, but will never live up to the legend.
You're smart, feisty, and brutally honest, yet people constantly underestimate you. Because you're so often overlooked, you've mastered the art of the sneak attack. Your rise to power might not be the fastest, but you will come out on top in the end.
You're an attention seeker whose emotional development got stuck somewhere around age 12. You can't stand convention, think the only jokes worth telling are crude ones, and have no filter. As a result, people treat you like a child and are always telling you to buzz off, to which you respond by turning your annoying nature up to 11.
You're a lost boy. You don't know what you want to do with your life, but you're also aware that you're getting to an age where being a slacker isn't cool anymore. You have trouble making your own decisions, and turn to those older, wiser, and more experienced than you for all the answers. This means you're extremely gullible, and often fall for mean-spirited people's pranks. You're socially awkward around everyone, even family, and are probably a virgin.
You were raised in a loving, conventional, probably religious family. You've always been the nice guy, but you're starting to suspect that nice guys do indeed finish last. Beneath your people-pleasing exterior, there's a simmering pot of anger about to boil over. And when it does, watch out. Bystanders are going to get burned.
You make people feel good about themselves. Whatever they want you to be, you become. You are conflict avoidant. You see relationships as transactions and sell your attention to the highest bidder but get distracted by shiny objects easily. Your relationships are all superficial, leaving you feeling empty inside.
You're an enigma. Your waters run deep. You have a dark past that you keep under lock and key. No one can predict your next move. You don't speak often, but when you do, your tongue is so sharp you could cut someone. Even your smile is threatening. No one dares to cross you because they know if they did, they'd be ex-communicated forever.
You're the most intelligent person in the room but no one seems to notice you unless they need you. You're a fly on the wall, but a sly one. You could fuck over every person in your social and professional circles if given enough motivation to do so. But you won't, unless circumstances desperately call for it, because you're mature enough not to get involved in petty drama.
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