WASHINGTON, DC - NOVEMBER 6: A dog carries a sign reading Defend Democracy. People gather in McPherson Square in Washington, DC on Friday, November 6, 2020 to watch the election results come in and celebrate Joe Bidens growing lead. (Photo by Sarah L. Voisin/The Washington Post via Getty Images)

Major Burn: President Biden’s Dog Bites Stranger at White House, The Scent of Evil Was Strong That Day

Remember when Dick Cheney shot that guy in the face during a “hunting accident” back in 2006? Well, if anyone had doubts about what lengths Joe Biden would go to protect his love of democracy, his iron-fisted tactics just spoke volumes. White House press secretary Jen Psaki confirmed a recent “incident” inside the presidential mansion involving First Dog Major and an unknown victim.

After the attack, which resulted in “minor injuries” both German shepherds were transferred to Biden’s house in Delaware for a “previously scheduled” visit. But as members inside the intelligence community may tell you, this move is the classic decompression phase after a political target has been neutralized.

Sources first reported a security guard may have been involved in the incident, as personnel sweeps have reached an all-time high following the Jan. 6 Capitol riots. As for 3-year-old rescue pup Major, we hope America will once again call him a “good boy” after the dust settles and the truth comes to light on his recent doggy actions.

Psaki would not confirm the identity of the victim, though many speculate she knows exactly where all the bones are buried. When asked if Major would not be euthanized, she hesitated for just a moment before saying:

“Well, certainly, Major Biden is a member of the family, so I can assure you that.” She went on to add, “Today’s a good day for the cat. I don’t have any update on the cat. We know the cat will break the internet, but I don’t have any update on its status,” she said.

Well played, Psaki. We’re looking forward to seeing what the cat does when it’s his turn to defend democracy.

Cover Photo: The Washington Post (Getty Images)

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