Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop ‘Vagina Candle’ Explodes in Woman’s Home, Successful Rebranding for Firecrotches

If you don’t like what they’re saying, change the conversation. That’s the advice that Don Draper gives to clients when they’re in need of a rebranding. It makes sense, really. If the general public is talking about you or your business or your brand, and you don’t like the content of what is being said, your job is to shift what they’re actually talking about. It’s a marketing tactic and it works. And, for Gwyneth Paltrow, she may need to do just that because her famed ‘vagina candle’ almost literally murdered somebody.

First, some backstory. As we’ve written about before, Gwyneth Paltrow decided to create and sell a candle on her website Goop. Fair enough, except Paltrow designed the candle to smell like her vagina.

We’d call her crazy but, by God, people bought it. One of those people was Jody Thompson, a 50-year-old UK woman who actually won the candle in a quiz and subsequently placed it atop her mantle, undoubtedly with the purest intentions.

You know what else is pure? Fire. Thompson knows that, too, because not much later, her vagina candle exploded! And not in the fun way that you want a vagina to explode. It actually exploded. In her living room.

“The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere,” Thompson told the UK Sun. “I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.”

Some like it hot, or so they say. But Thompson definitely didn’t.

“It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s vagina candle exploded in my living room,” she said.

Hindsight is 2020, we guess. This is especially true because, in hindsight, we never thought we’d be spending the first part of 2021 talking about Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina candle exploding in somebody’s living room. But, here we are.

The good news to come out of this whole debacle is the fact that redheads never have to be called ‘fire crotches’ again. That distinction now solely describes those who have purchased Paltrow’s vagina candle and subsequently watched it almost burn down their house.

Consider the conversation changed.

Cover Photo: Pascal Le Segretain / Staff (Getty Images) and Goop

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