LONDONDERRY, NEW HAMPSHIRE - AUGUST 28: President Donald Trump speaks a rally at an airport hanger on August 28, 2020 in Londonderry, New Hampshire. The rally takes place one day after Trump formally accepted his party’s nomination to end the Republican National Convention at the White House. Addressing hundreds of supporters, many wearing face masks, Trump is expected to make the case for his re-election against his opponent Joe Biden. (Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images)

President Trump Suggests He and Joe Biden Take Drug Tests Before Debate, the Only List Long Enough to Delay the Election

If this isn’t a case of the pot calling the kettle a coke-user, we don’t know what is. Running out of lies about Joe Biden that are even semi-believable, Trump has now accused his political rival of being a drug user. Insert your own joke here.

Actually, no. Allow us. Trump, who has had more snow on his nose than Frosty, recently stated that he and Joe Biden should both take drug tests before their first debate. This harkens back to the baseless accusations Trump made about Hilary Clinton in 2016. The president seems to enjoy riling up critics by saying really stupid shit, and this is just the latest example. The reason Mr. Trump wants to challenge his opponent to take a drug test is because, presumably, Biden was very well-spoken in his address at the Democratic National Convention, as well as debates against Senator Bernie Sanders.

“I don’t know how he could have been so incompetent in his debate performances and then all of a sudden be OK against Bernie,” Mr. Trump said in an interview with the Washington Examiner. “My point is, if you go back and watch some of those numerous debates, he was so bad. He wasn’t even coherent. And against Bernie, he was. And we’re calling for a drug test.”

In Trump’s mind, people can only speak well and sound intelligent if they are on drugs. So maybe we’ve been wrong about Trump all along. Maybe he’s not on drugs.

He probably is. Which is why we would actually love to see both he and Biden take drug tests. Of course, Trump would probably pass a drug test as easily as he would a lie detector test, but we have to assume the real results would be concealed anyway. He seems to be good at concealing things. Still, let ‘em do it. Televise it, even. This entire election season is going to be a circus anyway, with head-clown Trump leading the parade. We may need to be on drugs ourselves, simply to tolerate it.

Cover Photo: Spencer Platt / Staff (Getty Images)

Biden vs. Trump: Which Political Candidate Has Better Hair?


Are You ‘Cognitively There?’; Take the Brain-Busting Test President Trump Has Been Bragging About

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.