Weird News: Michigan Library Wants People To Stop Microwaving Books, Please and Thank You

Many of us are going to extreme lengths to guarantee we don’t get COVID-19. We’re washing our hands way more than necessary, cleaning all of our groceries with disinfecting wipes before bringing them into the house, wearing a face mask to take out the garbage, and tearing off our clothes, throwing them in a big pile in the yard, and burning them every time we come home from literally anywhere. One thing we aren’t doing is microwaving library books. Well, some of us are.

You might be wondering why exactly someone would microwave a library book. But, if you take away any concept of science and merely jump to strange conclusions in an attempt to stay virus-free, it seems like it might work. Those filthy library books could have anything on them, not just coronavirus. We’ve been told that if you heat food up past 165 degrees it’s safe from the virus, so why not books, right?

The Kent District Library in Grand Rapids, Michigan, wants patrons to know that while microwaving library books doesn’t guarantee they’re free of viruses, it does completely ruin them.

“I don’t know if it was something that they saw on the news, that they thought maybe the heat would kill COVID-19,” Elizabeth Guarino-Kozlowicz, the regional manager of Kent District Library, said in an interview with the Detroit Free Press.

That library received a handful of microwaved books recently. How did they know these books got the TV dinner treatment? Well, each book has a radio frequency tag that’s made of metal. And we all know what happens to metal in the microwave. As the late Dennis Hopper once said, “bad things, man.” Sparks, fire, and all-around bad stuff. We’ll never forget to take our spoon out of our bowl of oatmeal again.

They took to their Facebook page to alert library patrons that they don’t need to destroy their books to clean them. The library already quarantines returns for three days before they’re added back into the library rotation.

So, if you have already microwaved a few books or you have aspirations to do so, don’t. Just find a place to leave them for a few days. Save the microwave for your Hot Pockets. Or, better yet, just use your Kindle or Nook to read this summer. It’s much safer.

Photo: PM Images (Getty Images)

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