Stuck in a Rock Hard Place: Man Nearly Dies From Humongous Erection

Erections can sometimes be horrendous. Like when they last for 36 hours and almost kill you. That’s what happened to 41-year-old Englishman Elliott Rossiter when he visited a friend in France and developed an erection that just wouldn’t beat it. Maybe it’s something in the water, but Rossiter’s baguette (we had to) was so painful that his friends convinced him to go to the hospital after 19 hours. While this sounds like an awesome problem to have, apparently the hard-on was far from sexual, with the merest touch causing untold pain. When the clinicians injected Rossiter’s torpedo with an anti-inflammatory solution and nothing softened, they rushed him to a surgeon who declared his penis must be cut. Luckily for Rossiter, only a small incision was necessary to save his little friend. The surgeon drained the excess collection of blood and reduced Rossiter’s rock hard python to the tadpole it sought to become. In the end, another dickhead was saved.

Photo: Daniel Ingold (Getty Images)

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