Utah Reopening Buffets, the True American Way to Spread a Virus

Photo: secret agent mike (Getty Images)

On the list of “essential” businesses, all-you-can-eat buffets seem like they would be pretty low. There’s a reason grocery stores and restaurants removed salad and hot bars months ago. Sure, there’s a sneeze guard, but that just means everything you sneezed out is just chilling right there on the grill, ready to be breathed in by the next hangry eater. Is it really necessary for hundreds of people to handle the same spoons as they shovel meatloaf, mac and cheese, steamed broccoli, and green Jell-O onto their plates? It doesn’t seem like it is. Regardless, the governor of Utah thinks the time is right reopen buffets.

It should be noted that while Utah’s Governor Gary Herbert has given the green light to buffets reopening, there are stipulations. It won’t be a free-for-all anymore. There will be safety precautions.

Like with any restaurant, customers must be wearing a mask to enter the buffet. They can take them off when they’re seated at their table, but they must put them back on every time they return to the buffet to pile on more fried meats and cheeses. Also, instead of grabbing a nice, toasty plate at the buffet, every customer will be handed a plate and utensil by an employee of the buffet.

If they don’t feel comfortable going to the buffet (or they’re lazy), they can ask an employee to serve them. Although, if you’re the type of person who fills your plate we have no idea how you’d explain what you want unless you said, “a little bit of everything mixed together to make an awful, sweet, salty, savory mess.”

If they decide to go to the buffet themselves, they must use hand sanitizer before serving themselves. Also, the utensils will be changed every half hour.

In all honesty, we really don’t know what anyone would feel the need to go to a buffet in the middle of a pandemic. We get it, you have a big appetite. Well, just do what we do and get all your food delivered and opt for that large za’ instead of the medium.

Venice Has New Gondola Weight Restrictions: Time to Shed That Quarantine 15

Feline Felon: Actual Cat Burglar Tries Stealing From Russian Bar

Visit the Mandatory Shop for great deals on your very own Mandatory merch.

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.