Meanwhile in Germany: Man Fined For Keeping WW2 Tank Inside House, How He Gets Laid Now Remains Mystery

It’s hard to keep a WW2 military tank secret, especially when you use it as a snowplow during rough winters. That might explain why a German man is facing four months in jail and a fine of $300,000 after authorities discovered the illegal panzer he kept at his house in Kiel.

The 84-year-old tank fanatic, whose identity is being kept secret due to German privacy laws, argued that he innocently bought the tank from an English dealer to use as scrap metal. And while that sounds like a reasonable explanation, police also found a giant anti-aircraft gun, a mortar, a collection of machine guns and assault rifles, more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition, and a freaking torpedo inside his house.

So yeah. Just a whole lot of scrap metal.

Germany’s War Weapons Control Act prohibits anyone from keeping any weapons of war without a proper license. And the law is not obscure either. It’s part of their Basic Laws, probably because of an incident that happened somewhere between 1939 and 1945.

Still, we feel bad for the old-timer who clearly has a passion for all things war. After all, how else is an old widower going to pick up chicks in a small town without a little something extra to set him apart?

Because who wouldn’t fall in love with a guy whose first date plans are to get drunk on Jagermeister and joyride around the neighborhood in one of these bad boys? Talk about getting blitzkrieged.

Cover Photo: delectus (Getty Images)

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