Urban Outfitters

Urban Outfitters Sells ‘Get Naked’ Bath Mat and Now We Feel Dirty Inside Too (Can We Cancel Them Yet?)

Marketers – what will they think of next? They never fail to find ways to entice us to spend money on stuff we don’t need or simply astonish us with their desperate cries for attention. Urban Outfitters, which opened way back in 1970 as an entrepreneurial project of a trio of University of Pennsylvania college students, has been trying to separate us and our money for decades.

The overpriced boho-chic retailer we never thought would last has since expanded into the home goods sector, and runs an Instagram account that, admittedly, makes any entry-level worker who can barely afford an apartment, much less the furnishings for it, envious. Every staged room on its ‘gram is bright, clean and colorful, the items effortlessly cool without trying too hard.

Urban Outfitters’ aesthetic is a rich person’s idea of a thrift store. Anyone who can afford to outfit their living space with the retailer’s stuff isn’t poor, but they like living as if they were.

But now, with one little bath mat, they’ve officially gone too far.

It reads “Get Naked.” It joins other horny and bossy bath mats emblazoned with phrases like “Sweet Cheeks,” “Freaky Clean,” and “Take It Off.”

We don’t know about you, but we don’t want our bath mats coming onto us. It makes us feel dirty. And it sort of defeats the purpose of a bath mat, which is to make us feel cozy when we step out the shower, squeaky clean. We’d rather not get cat-called by bathroom linen before we even start our day, thankyouverymuch.

But if you really need daily affirmation from a bath mat that you’re hot stuff, it can be yours for only $39.

Cover Photo: Urban Outfitters

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