ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA - DECEMBER 16: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY) Wilberto Cusano, a frontline medical worker, takes a selfie while he receives the Pfizer vaccine for COVID-19 at the Virginia Hospital Center on December 16, 2020 in Arlington, Virginia. More than 1,950 of the hospital’s employees will be vaccinated over the next 4 days as the COVID-19 vaccine begins widespread distribution in the United States this week. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

COVID Vaccine Flexing the Latest Online Trend to Make the Rest of Us Feel Bad About Something We Can’t Control

The coronavirus vaccine is here. That’s cause for celebration (over Zoom, of course, because the threat of contracting COVID is still an ever-present danger). Except that, in the grand tradition of the U.S. fumbling situations it should have mastered by now, there isn’t enough of the vaccine to go around.

Like vying for a life raft on the Titanic, some of us (the young, healthy, non-frontline workers) are going to get left behind. Or at least neglected for a long-ass time. If we get both doses of the vaccination before the end of the year, we’ll be lucky. (If you really want to feel depressed, try this New York Times widget that’ll tell you approximately how many people are ahead of you in line.)

Getting a COVID vaccine is now the ultimate show of privilege – which is why watching health care workers and elderly celebrities bare their upper arms for “likes” kind of pisses us off. These vaccine selfies (or “vaxxies,” as they’ve been obnoxiously dubbed) are popping up all over social media. Some say that this trend is positive, because it normalizes getting vaccinated. We suppose that could be true, but we’d rather you not shove your newfound immunity in our faces. How can we not seethe with jealousy?

Not only are the newly inoculated flexing in the slang sense, some are literally flexing when they get the vaccine.

Why the beaming pride? You know you didn’t do anything to deserve the vaccine, right? You didn’t climb a mountain or win an award or even cast a ballot. You were in the right place, at the right time. You were old. Or you got lucky. Does this really require photographic documentation?

Of course we want everyone to get vaccinated. The more people that do, the safer we all are. On the other hand, we also kind of don’t care if up to 50 percent of Americans are waffling on whether or not to get the shot. If you’re unsure about the safety of the COVID vaccine, with all do respect, step aside, asshole, because there are a lot of us who wholeheartedly believe in science and can’t wait to get some immunity from this motherfucking virus.

As for those who do want – and manage – to get vaccinated? Spare us your selfies. We already feel bad enough about our lame lives as is.

Cover Photo: Win McNamee / Staff (Getty Images)

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