Rudy Giuliani Shockingly Tests Positive for COVID, Perfect Little Bow on Top of a Terrible Year

Stop us if you’ve heard this one. Actually, don’t. Because you probably have. Even if you haven’t, it was probably easy to guess the ending of this movie. In a move that is surprising to absolutely nobody, current-but-soon-to-be-former President Trump (God that feels good to write) has announced that his personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, has tested positive for COVID-19.

Like, duh. If you expected this saga to end any other way, then you just haven’t been paying attention. Giuliani has constantly defied CDC recommendations while attending various hearings to dispute the fact that Trump very decidedly lost the 2020 election. During his travels, he refused to wear a mask, he came into contact with countless random people, shaking their hands and embracing them in a hug. At one point, he even asked a colleague to remove her mask so that he could better understand her.

Nobody else had a problem understanding her.

Now, listen – we don’t revel in the fact that Giuliani has COVID-19. In fact, the man is actually a pretty high-risk case, given his age and various health factors. So we want him to get better and our thoughts and prayers really are with the man.

But, like, what the fuck do you expect?

CNN reported that at the beginning of the week, Giuliani was meeting with various GOP members of the state’s legislators to discuss allegations that the election was fraudulent. Again, there’s no actual proof of this but Giuliani still thinks that he actually has any semblance of credibility, so he probably just thinks/hopes people will take him at his word.

Thus far, they haven’t.

Still, Giuliani continues to bang the drum for his boss and, in doing so, he has opened himself up to the virus. This tends to happen when you sit creepily close to people and still refuse to wear a mask. In his defense, Giuliani isn’t the only one from Trump’s cabinet to test positive for the coronavirus. That list also includes Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, Melania Trump, Donald Trump Jr., Barron Trump, and the president himself. It’s almost as if the people who are blatantly disregarding doctors’ suggestions are the ones getting the virus the most. Who knew?

We don’t want anything bad to happen to Rudy Giuliani. We want to see him live a long and fruitful life. Or, at least, we want to see him live long enough to serve a prison sentence. Get well soon, Rudy!

Cover Photo: Rey Del Rio Getty Images

He’s melting: Spoiled Brains of Rudy Giuliani Appear to Melt the More Lies He Tells, Leaving His Ears During Tall-Tale Press Conference


Sweat, hog: Video Shows Rudy Giuliani Almost Literally Rubbing Coronavirus on Somebody

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.