Mandatory Lowlights: The Biggest Fails of 2019
Welcome to the place where dreams die. As another year comes to a close, what better way to reflect on the endless stream of events than by remembering 2019’s biggest fails? Even though none of it was our fault, it still feels like it was. Because just being alive in the vicinity of such epic misfires makes us an accomplice. From fake hate crimes to boneheaded Twitter battles, 2019 was full of flops, faux pas, and flat-out fails. But that’s OK, we’ll do better next year.
Photo: Bruce Glikas / Contributor (Getty Images)
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The Death of Grumpy Cat
It's a fail on a cosmic scale when someone like Grumpy Cat dies. He was our spirit animal, the hero we needed but didn't deserve. And 2019 just ripped him away.
Jessie Smollet Goes to Subway
This was a strange one. Smollet's hate crime fiasco ate up the news cycle for the entire first quarter of the year. Talk about pointless.
For 24 hours, Facebook and Instagram both went down. This massive tech fail brought up a lot of mixed emotions. Most of which we are still unpacking.
Bolsanaro's Response to the Amazon Fires
The most densely populated ecosystem on the planet had to burn while idiotic old men argued. Fail.
Loki TV Logo
One look at Loki's new logo can only prompt one reaction. A swift and solemn lowering of the head.
'Game of Thrones' Final Season
The entire final season of Game of Thrones was disappointing to say the least. And the infamous battle of Winterfell was so dark that most people actually thought they had their eyes closed and fell asleep.
Kanye West Drinks The Kool-Aid
Kanye West getting born-again is about as believable as Trump going feminist. Hopefully, he won't jump into faith healing in 2020.
The beloved French cathedral went up in flames as the world watched in horror. One billion was raised in two days to fix it, proving that all the world's problems could be fixed by rich people. And then it came out that the whole blaze was probably started by a cigarette.
All Things Trump
Trump had a banner year: he averaged 80 false statements per week, increased the national deficit, and locked kids in cages. In 2020, we hope Trump finally does something positive: leave the White House.
Between Boeing's software malfunctions and the rise of baggage fees as a cottage industry for non-budget airlines, 2019 has been a terrible year for air travel. Our only hope for next year is that teleportation quickly becomes a thing.
The College Admissions Scandal
Everyone knows that wealthy donors are 500 percent more likely to get their kids accepted into elite colleges than non-donors. While the recent scandal counts as a faux pas, the media indignation surrounding it feels more like false medicine than truth serum.
Boris Johnson and His Brexit
For the past three years, Britain has refrained from leaping onto the jagged rocks of Brexit, but the stalemate has allowed the English version of Donald Trump to be elected Prime Minister. Take it from America, you've made a terrible mistake.
The Rise of the Electric Scooter
They infiltrated our cities without permission. And when the truth about their carbon footprint came to light, our misguided distaste of e-scooters finally had a home.
Miley Cyrus Headlines
For some reason, Miley Cyrus made the news. Let's work on that for next year.