Ikea Catalog Now Available in Audio Version, Essentially Rosetta Stone For Objects Always Missing a Screw

Once upon a time, before online shopping existed, people perused catalogs. It was the porn of capitalists and shopping addicts everywhere. Those heavy, brightly colored wads of glossy paper appeared in our mailbox and consumed entire afternoons as we flipped through them and fantasized about a more stylish life.

Catalogs are now a thing of the past (all that paper! Shame on us!) but IKEA has a new, green way to enjoy your former favorite pastime. That’s because the Swedish furniture retailer has released an audio version of its 2021 catalog (aka the company’s last one ever).

Dubbed “handy and hands-free,” the audio catalog is said to be a “tour for your ears” through one of the most beloved home décor behemoths in the world. It’s also just a good way to waste time if you’re bored out of your skull.

“We know that by now, you’ve probably binged through every possible podcast, audiobook and ‘Best of 2020’ playlist there is, so maybe you could use some new soothing sounds to put on while we all continue for normal life to get back to … normal,” the narrator says in the audio.

Each “chapter” of the audio catalog takes listeners through different furnished homes as well as doles out furnishing and decorating tips. No word on whether or not it will help you solve that perennial “Where the fuck is that screw?!” conundrum that happens every time you try to assemble something from the furniture maker.

Interested in giving the audible catalog a listen? You can find it on YouTube, Spotify and Audiobooks.com for free. But shopper beware: you just might be inspired to drop some cash on new furnishings. That, or it’ll put you to sleep. In the interest of safety, try not to listen while driving.

Cover Photo: IKEA

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