Election week was a stressful time. We were all crouched over our screens, frantically refreshing the Electoral College maps and trying to recalculate how many votes were still unaccounted for. At some point, you had to take a break from the madness. And we know what you were clicking on while you did. How? Because PornHub just released stats – in its own colorful map form – from the most-searched terms by state during election week.
“It’s a snap-shot of what was truly in the hearts and on the minds of everyday Americans while they waited to find out who their next president will be,” the site said.
We don’t know about you, but we learned a thing or two by perusing this map – and other things we didn’t want to know about at all. “Anal creampie,” Montana? WTF.
For many states, size mattered. “Fat ass” reigned in Pennsylvania, “chubby” trended in Kansas and Alabama dwellers got their “big booty” fixes.
It would appear Southern gents are into older women…way older women. “Granny” was on top in Tennessee and “Grandma” was getting clicks in South Carolina, while Ohio residents preferred their porn stars slightly younger, to the tune of “cougar.”
Utah porn fans were trying to find a religious loophole by searching for “Mormon” porn while Texans kept it hot with “sexmex.” Lonely Idahoans fantasized about orgies. Virginians longed for “sloppy blowjobs.” Wyoming pervs wanted their porn stars pregnant, while Iowans were satisfied with yoga pants. Nebraskans dreamed of wife-swapping while Michigan residents just wished you would sit on their faces. Oregonians were kind of creepy with “succubus.”
The saddest state search? “Pron,” via Mississippi. To which we say: If you can’t spell it, you shouldn’t be allowed to watch it!
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