seltzer suicide

Seltzer Suicides: Bring Back Your Favorite Childhood Pastime by Mixing Every Hard Seltzer Flavor Together, There’s No Better Time

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We aren’t sure if kids today still do this, but when we were young, there was no greater experiment than creating what was grimly referred to as a “Suicide Soda.” To create this flavor concoction, first, you needed to visit a restaurant with a soda fountain. You would order a soda and take your cup and, instead of filling it with just one carbonated beverage, you would move down the line adding a little bit of each flavor along the way.

This would mix together whatever soda flavors the restaurant had into some kind of unique, suicidal libation. Usually cola-based, your drink might have also contained orange soda, lemon lime, root beer, and any other strange local flavor. To this day, it’s hard to really pinpoint what exactly it tasted like. That’s probably because it tasted like everything and nothing all at once.

This trip down nostalgia boulevard has us wondering about the modern-day equivalent of this childhood beverage. Sure, you could just do the same thing as adults. But our mature palates might not enjoy the melding of all of these sugary, fizzy soft drinks. Plus, what would the point be if it didn’t have any alcohol in it, right?

While we’re still not sure we’d actually enjoy it, the obvious replacement for tooth-achingly sweet soda for an adult version of this experiment is hard seltzer. The new kid on the boozy block, between all the different brands, hard seltzer comes in flavors like lemon-lime, grapefruit, cranberry, prickly pear, and even pumpkin spice. So, there’s no limit to the strange, potentially vomit-inducing flavor combinations you could come up with.

So, if you’re a person looking to grab onto nostalgia at all costs and you have no respect for your miserable, adult taste buds, grab a mixed-flavor case of your favorite hard seltzer brand and get mixing. It can’t be worse than mixing Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew, right?

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