Pumpkin-Spiced Seltzer: We’ve Officially Reached the Edge of Humanity

Photo: VIVE

We don’t understand the fascination with pumpkin spice. Why is this the official flavor of fall? Most things flavored with this chemically tasting seasonal flavor taste as much like actual pumpkins as green apple Jolly Ranchers actually taste like biting into a crisp, green apple. Spoiler alert: they don’t. But, for some reason, you can’t go into a Starbucks or Dunkin’ without seeing 10 drinks based on this cloyingly sweet flavor. And it’s not just coffee-based drinks. This is the official fall flavor of air fresheners, hummus, kale chips, and even Spam. And now, in an event that seems like it’s been in motion for centuries, you can finally add hard seltzer to the list.

That’s because Covington, Kentucky-based hard seltzer brand VIVE just announced on Instagram that it was going to be the first to drop a pumpkin spice-flavored hard seltzer. Honestly, we have no idea how this smaller brand beat the likes of White Claw, Truly, and Bon & Viv to the sugary pumpkin punch.

The funniest aspect of this whole release is the fact that VIVE understands that people might think the idea of releasing a pumpkin spiced hard seltzer is kind of funny. The post even pokes fun at it, saying, “Yep. This is real. Go ahead. Roll your eyes. Take a sip.”

The limited-edition offering is set to hit shelves just in time for the yearly influx of pumpkin-infused products in September. Unsurprisingly, the drink has flavors of cinnamon, pumpkin, and various other fall flavors. While we enjoy our seltzer with as little flavor as possible and no alcohol, we’d probably give this a try if just for a laugh.

Whether or not you want to drink it as a joke or you’re one of the surprisingly large number of people who actually enjoy this awful flavor, you can grab a six-pack in September for $9.99. But only if you live in Ohio, Kentucky, or Tennessee as these are the only states this product is available in. If you live in all the other states, count yourself lucky that you don’t have to try it.

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