Meanwhile in Colorado: Super Cannabis Induces Scromiting, 100 Percent the Plot of Next Seth Rogen Movie

It looks like your mom was right, apparently, there is a downside to smoking chronic. The recent phenomenon, dubbed “scromiting” by Colorado doctors, is – you guessed it – a terrible affliction that causes some dope users to scream vomit after getting too high on sweet, sweet cheeba.

Scromiting was first documented in 2004 as a rare and mysterious syndrome affecting a handful of tokers, but over the past few years, the number of victims has skyrocketed. Some Colorado hospitals are now seeing scromiting young men stagger in on a daily basis, a development that is both hilarious and troubling to members of the weed industry.

While no one knows exactly what’s causing the nightmarish disorder, experts suspect the rise in cannabis potency has something to do with it. With weed ballooning from three percent THC to upwards of 90 percent, there were bound to be some side effects. Yep. Turns out overdosing on Mary Jane holds a fate worse than death: Scromiting.

But before your throw out your weed tin, casual smokers need not worry. Victims of scromiting tend to be daily users who have been partaking for a year or more, which is such a slap in the face to bud lovers everywhere. It’s the ultimate dilemma for a lifelong stoner (and 100 percent the plot to the next Seth Rogen movie).

After all, what would happen if a stoner suddenly became a habitual scromiter and had to choose between the life he loves and the ultimate bad trip? It’s Sophie’s Choice with weed, and ripe storytelling for the prince of pot himself, Mr. Rogen.

As cannabis concentrates continue to dominate the industry, the rise of scromiting is surely ahead of us. So don’t be surprised if next time you smoke a fatty dipped in wax your mouth inexplicably opens and more than words come flying out. Just take a warm shower and prepare to make the greatest sacrifice known to man: stick to the low-grade schwag drying out in your dad’s not-so-secret stash.

Cover Photo: ozgurdonmaz (Getty Images)

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